Kathy’s Video Comments re: 10 Truths for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse


.
Hello Everyone,

Kathy with Maizy. :)

Kathy with Maizy. :)

I’m trying some new things, and I have made a short video of myself talking about the last blog entry, 10 Truths for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse.

Gasp!! These are big brave steps for me to put myself out on a video. All disclaimers needed!

I’m very new at making simple home-made videos, so there’s no fancy tricks, just me chattering some of my thoughts. Practice makes perfect, they say. Well, I haven’t practiced enough to make a perfect video, but it seems important enough to share in a very real way, so… I’m going for it.

Very serious topic for a first video.

I hope you find this helpful.
.

For Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: http://youtu.be/Mel08uibDfU

.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

About these ads

10 Truths for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse


Photo titled Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse found at www.examiner.com

Photo titled Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse found at http://www.examiner.com

My previous post was written about childhood sexual abuse. Children are young, small, and without resources. Grasping the innocence of those children is easily seen and understood.

What about those situations where an adult is battling sexual abuse? What if the adult dissociative survivor has younger parts still trapped in the roles of ongoing sexual abuse? What if an adult gets raped or sexually assaulted?

What truths apply in these situations?

.

  • Even as an adult, it is not your fault when any other person chooses to force or demand unwanted sexual interactions with you. This includes physical attacks, drugging, physical restraints, emotional blackmail, group attacks, weaponry, mind control, etc. There are numerous ways adults can be overpowered by other adults. It is absolutely wrong for anyone to use their force and power to harm you.
  • As an adult, youhave the ability to make choices and decisions that can create more safety for yourself. It takes courage to make new choices, but you have more options and resources now than you did as a child. Discover what’s available for you now.

    What decisions can you make to change your future?

    What decisions can you make to change your future?

  • Breaking the pattern of long-term, chronic sexual abuse is possible. Difficult, yes, but definitely possible. You can do this. Yes, you can. You are allowed to be safe now.
  • Chronic adult-aged sexual abuse usually has roots in childhood sexual abuse. Learning how to tolerate and endure long-term childhood sexual abuse creates patterns, skills, and beliefs that can be difficult to change later in life. It is not your fault that you had to learn how to comply with abuse. You did a brilliant job of surviving your early years of abuse. Don’t blame yourself for that. You were strong enough to survive the unthinkable.
  • Even if you have Insiders in your system who participate in unwanted or unhealthy sexual activities, you can do the necessary system work with these parts to teach them new options, including how to create distance from sexual abusers. Your insiders are there to help and protect you. Encourage everyone to work towards safety for everyone.
  • When you find the courage to listen to your system, to help those that are still battling abuser controls, and to forgive yourself for getting tangled in unwanted or unhealthy sexual activity, you can find deep peace, comfort, and healing.

.

Be brave. Hold tight to your courage.

Be brave. Hold tight to your courage.

.

  • It’s not your fault that you and your Insiders are caught in adult-aged sexual abuse. However, it is your responsibility to fight for your freedom — including freedom for your whole system — and to heal the wounds of the insiders who were injured.
  • Those terrible perps won’t want to let you go easily. You will have to battle for your freedom and safety, but you and your insiders can do this. You have the right to be safe, free, and unharmed.
  • While adult-aged sexual abuse feels shameful, humiliating, and devastating, these horrific experiences do not define who you are. You can turn this trauma into triumph with the skills, strength, integrity, and courage that you have within yourselves. Life still holds a wide array of options for you. Work hard to make your life how you want it to be.
  • You are beautiful, even if ugly things have happened — or are happening — to you. You are talented, skilled, strong, and vibrant. Your life has positive value and purpose. Find it!

.

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

.

Believe in yourself.  Fight for your freedom.  You are beautiful too.

Warmly,

Kathy

.

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

10 Comforting and Corrective Truths for Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors


The little baby is right!  It's not the child's fault!!

The little baby is right! It’s not the child’s fault!!

.

.
Every survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) that I know has a lot of enormously difficult days when they struggle desperately with feeling bad, feeling lousy, feeling at fault, feeling pain.  Those struggles can last for years.  Healing does come, but on those difficult days, remember what is true.

When the hard days come, it might be hard to remember….
.

  • It was not ok that anyone touched your body in ways that hurt you.
  • When you were young, it was never your fault that your body was sexually assaulted. You were not responsible. You are not to blame.

Upset Little Girl

  • There is nothing that any child can do, ever, that would make that child deserve sexual abuse, including you.
  • ANY adult that touches a child in sexual ways is completely inappropriate and wrong to do so.
  • Instead of hating and hurting yourself for what others did to you, treat your wounded heart, soul, and body with kindness, gentleness, and respect.
  • No matter what shape or size or color or height or weight of your body, no one ever had the right to sexually engage you as a child.
This powerful photo was found at www.innocent justice.org

This powerful photo was found at http://www.innocent justice.org

 

  • You are not a bad person even if bad things happened to you when you were young. You were not a bad baby. You were not a bad child. You are not bad. You were innocent.

 

  • You are not a bad person even if adults forced themselves upon you when you were a child. What they did was bad. What you did was endure the pain.
This strong photo was found at http://shaylinjanelle.tumblr.com/page/2

This strong photo was found at http://shaylinjanelle.tumblr.com/page/2

  • The bad you feel belongs to the adults who did sexual crimes to you. You are not the bad one. They are the criminals.
  • You were a precious, beautiful child. Even if ugly yucky things happened to you, you are beautiful. Then, and now.

.

Don’t believe the ugly garbage that your abusers said to you.

.

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

.

Believe in yourself instead.

You were innocent, and you are beautiful.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Feeding Kookaburras


Kookaburra! What a beautiful, unique bird!

Kookaburra! What a beautiful, unique bird!

Hello Everyone,

I’m feeling adventurous today so I’m going to try something new.

This video upload will hopefully be my first of many more to come. :)

Do you or your inner kids enjoy new experiences with birds and animals, or other kinds of wildlife? I sure do. These kinds of experiences make me smile inside. I treasure them!

This video shows two kookaburras, or as I prefer to say — “kookumburrows” just for fun. :). Try saying kookumburrows out loud. It’s a great word to say!!

Anyway, on this video you’ll be able to hear me talking and see me interacting with these beautiful wild birds and another young gal. I’m a little silly, as usual, but hopefully you’ll enjoy the chatter as you admire these beautiful birds.

Enjoy!!
.
.

Oops. Ok, I have uploaded the video as a separate blog post instead of being able to insert it here.  Have a peek here!

.

Feeding kookumburrows: http://youtu.be/OslKkP_60Sc

.

See the beautiful colors on the kookaburra?

See the beautiful colors on the kookaburra?

.
What do you think of that?

Have you ever seen kookaburras up close and personal like that?

How amazingly cool was that?!!

  • Did you see their funny little feet and watch them jump jump jump?
  •  Did you see them shake their heads with a loud clack clack clack?
  • Did you see the beautiful colors in their feathers?
  • Did you see the interesting shape of their beaks?
  • Would you ever call a kookaburra a “cheezit” ??!
  • What would you call these kookumburrows?
  • What was your favorite part of the video?
  • Would you be brave enough to hand feed kookumburrows??

I’m quite aware that pure environmentalists would fuss at me for feeding wildlife but these birds live in a highly populated area and clearly have been closely interacting with people for a very long time, way before I ever met them. The people aren’t going to move out of the community, and neither will the birds, so to me, it’s a matter of everyone getting along when we share the same space. And who doesn’t like the occasional cheesy treat?!

These moments — getting up close and personal with the incredible side of nature — make life exciting to me. I find these birds, and most animals, completely fascinating, to say the least. They warm my soul and spirit.

How do you feel when you spend time with animals?

I hope you and your inner little ones smile, laugh, and giggle while you watch silly ol’ me be a funny ol’ bird lady. :)

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Watch “Feeding kookumburrows” on YouTubeFeeding kookumburrows: http://youtu.be/OslKkP_60Sc


Hello Everyone,

Here’s my video of kookumburrows.

.

Feeding kookumburrows: http://youtu.be/OslKkP_60Sc

.

Feeding a kookaburra ... !

Feeding a kookaburra … !

 

.

Such beautiful colors of the kookaburra ... And funny little feet. :)

Such beautiful colors of the kookaburra … And funny little feet. :)

.

I hope you enjoy the video!

Warmly,

Kathy

.

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

 

How’s Your Journey Going?

wpid-2014-08-02-09.34.50.jpg.jpeg

image

Hello everyone,

Hello hello. My apologies for being away. How is your journey going?

I’m trying something new: making a post from a new device. Please overlook any weirdness while I learn this new skill. :)

So how is your journey going?

Let me tell you a story about mine.

I’ve posted a picture of a walking path I’ve been using lately.  Beautiful,  hey? It’s truly incredible to see, so green and lush, vivid intricate beauty in every direction.  So very peaceful.  Just me, my dog,  and the birds who sing the prettiest of songs. It’s an awesome and amazing place to walk.

After I had walked this path a few times, I got brave — or silly — and I decided to jog this path.  Well.  Anyone that knows me knows I’m not coordinated enough to be great at jogging the flattest of roads and sure enough, jogging this mini obstacle course didn’t go well.

At first I did great!  I was fast,  smooth,  and surely looking like a gazelle. I felt full of confidence and raced to a blistering jet-like speed.

I jumped over each log — one, two, three, four — feeling so very proud of each of my new accomplishments. Yay!  I was practically flying!  Only the last biggest log was ahead.  I was doing it!  It was a gold medal performance!

Until it wasn’t.

Splat!

Crash!

Bang!

Down I went, with the most unstylish belly flop this rainforest had ever seen.  Bam!  I was face down in the dirt.  I was just sure that last log held onto my toes with cruel vengeance!  Even the birds stopped singing to see what plopped and thudded on their quiet forest floor.

Whoooosh.

It knocked the wind right outta me!!

I laid there for a bit til I was able to have a big ol’ laugh at myself.

Gazelle.  Gazelle?  Who was I kidding?  I am seriously not that coordinated!

But it was fun to pretend for a few moments. And nothing was hurt but my pride. Thank goodness.

Soon I had enough face time with the dirt and I was sufficiently grounded back to reality.  I gathered my senses enough to stand back up, giggling at myself the whole time.

Being stubborn, I walked back to the beginning of that obstacle course, and started again.  Much slower this time,  but successful all the way.  That jungle couldn’t keep me down for long!

And since that day, every time I walk this path, I remember falling down.  But I also remember standing up again.

My life journey is like that.

How is yours?

Sending warm walking thoughts your way….

Kathy

.

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

.

image