Ten Benefits of Being Multiple


Kathy Broady:

Joys of Being Multiple

With so much pressure out in the therapeutic world to integrate, my question back to that, is why??

Dissociative trauma survivors need healing from all the wounding, and safety from any further abuse, yes, absolutely of course.  And some blending will occur naturally with internal / external safety, with good communication, and with excellent internal team work.

But what’s wrong with experiencing a safe and happy life as a multiple?  I can see lots of beauty in being multiple.  Just saying!

  • What do you enjoy about your multiplicity?
  • What strengths do you have?
  • How has multiplicity enhanced your life?
  • What qualities of being a multiple would you want to keep, and never lose?

Tossing out something to think about.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

You are Beautiful

In the typical process of trauma therapy, your therapist and the dissociative trauma survivor will spend a great deal of time talking about how difficult it is to be multiple — and it is difficult, no doubt about it.  For the typical multiple, there were years and years of pain and horror and abuse requiring the need to split over and over into a number of different personalities just to survive the unthinkable.

But the point of this blog is to talk about what an outsider / singleton sees as the benefits of being multiple and having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/MPD).  Yes, there really are some advantages to being split!

I see the following benefits in multiplicity:

  • Being able to do more than one thing at the same time.  Talk about having the ability to multi-task!  I’ve known situations were one personality can be talking comfortably on the phone while…

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What if you don’t like being Multiple?


Kathy Broady:

Dissociative Systems

Hi everyone,
I selected this article to re-blog because it already has 46 comments connected to it, and links to an article about the benefits of being multiple with 59 comments. That tells me y’all have a lot to say about these topics, and I’m certainly interested in hearing more.

I’m not multiple, so I don’t really have a say. I’m looking forward to hearing from those of you that know all about it.
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.

Warmly,
Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Don't Like Being Multiple

This week, the readers here have posted a wide variety of reactions to the idea that being multiple could have benefits.  If you haven’t yet read all the comments on that blog, please do so.  They are very interesting.

When people have DID/MPD, they have experienced life as a multiple since their childhood.  It is their norm – basically the only way of life they know.  Multiples typically have not experienced life any other way other than being multiple, even if they didn’t realize they were as split as they are.  Sure, one or two of the host personalities may not have a strong personal connection to what it’s like to be multiple, and many of them can deny the existence of the internal others to some degree, but the internal system as a whole would have been there for nearly your whole life.

And frankly, many DID’ers that…

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My Pals, Pinky and Joe Bob


Here are my two dogs, Pinky in the back, and funny floppy Joe in the front.

Here are my two dogs, Pinky in the back, and funny floppy Joe in the front.

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Have you ever seen a silver kelpie?

Aren’t they pretty?

These two ragamuffins have plenty of stories to share.  In this picture, Pinky is 3 yrs old, and little Joe — also known Joe Bob, Joe Man, Joe Dirt, Little Man, and so forth — is about 4 months old.  And talk about being full of beans!

Little Joe is still learning how to have giant standy uppy kelpie ears.  He’s got ear flops going every which way.  I’ll show you more of his unique floppy ear styles later. :)

So if you like puppy stories, I have a few to share!

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Developing Internal Communication – Starting with the Basics


Kathy Broady:

Handle with Care

Are you working with your internal system? Need some ideas for where to start? Once you get the basics of good communication figured out, it won’t be so daunting to reach the harder topics.

Start simple. First, just get a general idea of who is there, what they do, and what kinds of things they know. Build a friendly rapport first. You’ll need some version of relationship with them before you can manage the tougher stuff.

I bet there is someone in your system you’ve never yet spoken with. Try these ideas as you say hello to them.

I wish you the best in your healing journey.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Good Communication Skills

There are a variety of ways to develop basic, effective skills in internal communication with your dissociative system.  Most of these skills are very similar, even the same, as the communication skills used with real people in the everyday world.  There is no fancy trick to learning to talk to your inside people.  Everyone can do this.

Have you spoken to people in your everyday world?   I’m sure that every one of you has spoken to outside people before.  If you can speak to real people and develop ongoing relationships with them, you can certainly develop the ability to communicate and build relationships with your insiders.

Don’t panic — I completely understand that many people with Dissociative Identity Disorder have difficulties with social situations and social relationships.  I am fully aware that speaking with “real people” can be intimidating, challenging, difficult, disastrous, etc.

Internal Communication

Here’s the good news.  In some ways…

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Internal Communication – The Core of Treatment for Dissociative Identity Disorder, part 1


Kathy Broady:

Hi Everyone,
I still believe that developing excellent internal communication and effective team work are critical elements for working with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Here’s a few ideas to encourage you all to start talking with your insiders.
Warmly,
Kathy

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Photo Source: Pixabay Photo Source: Pixabay

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I ended my last post with this paragraph:

Focus first on relationship building with your parts.  Get to know them.  Talk to them.  Learn their names.  Overcome your fears of who they are.  Appreciate their strengths.  Develop friendships with them.  I guarantee that your overall stability will greatly improve as you are more connected with your internal system on a genuinely friendly, caring basis.


In my opinion, developing good internal communication is the core of the treatment work for Dissociative Identity Disorder.  If you cannot or do not talk well with your other internal parts, you will not be able to complete your healing work effectively, thoroughly or sufficiently.

Imagine going to your place of employment and not being able to speak with any of your co-workers.  How well would businesses work with that approach?  Have you ever been to a big department store?  Imagine if…

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Better Internet Soon!


Introducing Little Joe, also known by many other names...... More to come about this cute little guy in posts to come.

Introducing Little Joe, also known by many other names…… More to come about this cute little guy in posts to come.

Hey Everyone,

Hi , hi, and hi!

Quick note.  I’m in the process of moving to a new place which will have better internet.  Once all that happens, I will get to be much more active again.  I have spent the last six months having to drive 30 minutes, each way, to get internet reception while sitting in my car!  ARGH!!!  Not cool!!!  But thankfully, I’m on my way back to civilization and blogging will be much simpler.

Hold tight, please keep reading, and know that I am on my way back to writing more soon.

My apologies for all the delays…..

Warmly,

Kathy

Doubly Difficult Days for DID Survivors


Kathy Broady:

Hello Everyone,
I’m a little behind in posting something about Father’s Day and the change of seasons, but I figure that many of you will still be thinking about these things. I hope you find the ideas in this article to be helpful. Thinking of you all and wishing you gentle peace and genuine healing.
Warmly,
Kathy

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

A Father's Hand

This weekend is often a difficult weekend for trauma survivors with dissociative identity disorder.  First, there is Father’s Day (for those of us living in the USA), and secondly, it’s the Summer Solstice.  Anytime the difficult days get stacked on top of each other, it’s going to make for a complicated time.

On days when the issues seem to surface in layers, what do you do to cope?
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(**This blog article is about difficult topics so it could be triggering – please pace yourself carefully and keep yourself safe.)
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Father’s Day has many of the same emotional complications as was written about on Mother’s Day.  The days proceeding are often full of painful memories, heartbreaking loss, fear, conflict, and upset.  The vast majority of DID survivors have had abusive fathers, so the idea of celebrating fathers typically stirs up great turmoil.

The first day of summer…

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1,000,000+ Views on Discussing Dissociation


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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

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WOW!!!!

This week we’ve done it.  The readers here at Discussing Dissociation have now made over 1,000,000 views of this blog.  Wow.   That’s amazing!!!

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1,000,000 Page Views

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And THANK YOU for coming here and reading, and for commenting, and for sharing the re-blogs and for passing articles around Facebook, Twitter, for telling your friends, etc.  I very much appreciate your interest and participation on all these different levels.  Your involvement and your comments (we have made over 4,000 comments on this blog!) makes this place so much more vibrant and interesting and alive.

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Thanks for 1,000,000 Views

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1 Million Views

A million smiles to you for your 1 million views. Thank you so very much, and please keep reading!

 

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Thank you for this spot of sunshine in my day.  I really do appreciate you all. Thank you for 1,000,000 Views

Warmly,

Kathy

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Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

 

 

A Painful Mother’s Day – the Cards Not Written


Kathy Broady:

Another Mother’s Day has come, and gone, much to the relief of many dissociative trauma survivors. All too many survivors of child abuse find Mother’s Day to be an extremely painful time and nothing near the Hallmark Card version of what moms are like. I must admit, I have a beautiful mother whom I deeply admire and honor. However, it breaks my heart to hear when others have had such painful years with their mothers, or un-mothers. Their lives have been forever impacted by the loss of a good mom….

How was your Mother’s Day this year?

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Painful Mother's Day

Last week, I couldn’t find the words to write about the struggles that so many dissociative survivors have on Mother’s Day.

In response to that, a dissociative survivor emailed me, and has given me permission to post their thoughts about the painful side of Mother’s Day.

Maybe you will relate to these difficult thoughts and painful feelings.

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Every year on Mother’s Day we as a society get inundated with movies about mothers, sappy Hallmark card Mother’s Day commercials, endless rounds of advertisements on ways you can show your mother that you love her by buying her something.  On Mother’s Day many churches do tributes to moms – handing out charm bracelets, giving out flowers, and preaching sermons about how families are wonderful things to have and how you need to be so thankful to your mother for raising you and putting up with you.  Mothers are celebrated as though…

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Do You have Athazagoraphobia?


Drawn by ... On deviant Art.

Drawn by rhyme-my-name.deviantart.com

Athazagoraphobia.

I have learned a new word today.

Athazagoraphobia.

Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or being replaced.

Athazagoraphobia.

Ooooh boy, what a powerful word that relates to intense feelings held by soooo many dissociative trauma survivors. And since abandonment and neglect is often a huge and prominent part of the trauma history, is there any wonder?

First, let’s learn more about athazagoraphobia.

Here is a quote from http://www.fearof.net :

“Athazagoraphobia is a rarely discussed phobia. It means the fear of forgetting or the fear of being forgotten or ignored. Thus, Athazagoraphobia is of two types or has dual components: it might be seen in dementia patients in their early stages (or patients suffering from other medical conditions where memory loss occurs) where they fear forgetting their own identity and other things. Alternatively, it may be seen in spouses or caregivers of Alzheimer’s/dementia patients where the individuals believe their loved ones will forget them eventually, (or that they would be forgotten after the loved one has passed). It may even be triggered in the childhood where one has been left alone or been ignored for long periods of time.

It is a surprising fact that this phobia, while rarely reported, is actually quite a common phobia.

Causes of Athazagoraphobia

As stated before, the fear of being forgotten can arise in childhood if the individual has been left alone or has been ignored for a long time. Many sufferers of this phobia report feeling “inconsequential or unsubstantial” due to the feelings they undergo when left alone.

Medical reasons, particularly dementia and Alzheimers’ etc can also trigger the fear of forgetting things. Often, family members of people with conditions like amnesia or memory loss fear being forgotten by the patient.

Thus, the disorder has two distinct components: fear of being forgotten and the fear of forgetting. In general, doctors believe that a combination of medical/genetic issues and negative traumatic past incidents are the likely causes of Athazagoraphobia.

Symptoms of Fear of Being Forgotten Phobia

People with the fear of being forgotten phobia tend to have low self esteem and self confidence. Often, such people are inherently introverted, depressed or tend to lack the ability to interact normally in society. They are, by nature, shy and passive. At the same time, it is difficult for the person as s/he undergoes deep turmoil thinking repeatedly of “simply fading into oblivion”.”

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Athazagoraphobia  Ok. Big word, powerful meaning.  I certainly understand how this fear significantly relates for those suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia.  However, it would be no surprise to me if many dissociative trauma survivors of long term, chronic abandonment and neglect also developed such phobia.

Here is additional information, as written on http://www.mostcommonphobias.com :

“Athazagoraphobia is the morbid and irrational fear of being forgotten. This does not refer to those who, for example, get stood up on a date, or have canceled plans. Rather, people with Athazagoraphobia are honestly afraid that people will ignore or forget that they even exist. They will also have an extreme fear of abandonment, although they are not the exact same phobia.

Symptoms of Athazagoraphobia

Symptoms will vary from person to person, simply because not everyone is alike and they differ on state of mind, level of fear, and many other personality characteristics. However, general symptoms include anxiety when making plans, anxiety when waiting on someone or something, over-attachment to people and objects emotionally, and constantly reminding others of plans or contacting them excessively.

People with Athazagoraphobia often also suffer from Obsessive-compulsive tendencies, especially when making plans with another person. For instance, they will need to plan out exact times and places, as well as have an established routine or schedule that must be followed exactly.

Now, if someone with Athazagoraphobia is, for instance, stood up, the other person arrives late, etc. a panic attack may set in. Panic attack symptoms include rapid heart beat, chest pain, difficulty breathing, weakness, fainting, dizziness, feeling a loss of control, tingling or numbness in the hands or fingers, excessive sweating, and chills.

Causes of Athazagoraphobia

Phobias are most often caused by some sort of trauma, which usually occurs during childhood but can occur at any stage in life. For example, if a child is abandoned, either a parent or parents leave or they are put up for adoption, they may be led to fear being forgotten. Also, someone who is stood up on a date or other event, any number of times, could develop the fear of being forgotten.

The presence of other psychological disorders or phobias could also be to blame. Again, the fear of abandonment is another phobia that occurs with the phobia of being forgotten. Also, while Athazagoraphobia could cause Obsessive-compulsive tendencies, the reverse is also possible. Obsessive-compulsive disorder sufferers need an exact schedule or routine and will often fear that something will get messed up, out of place, or out of order in this process.

Athazagoraphobia also does not necessarily have to have a direct cause. Nobody wants to be forgotten. Some people just fear this more than others, and maybe on an extreme level like those with Athazagoraphobia.

Treatment of Athazagoraphobia

Therapy, although it does not work for everyone, is a great first step option in understanding and treating Athazagoraphobia. Social or group therapy is especially helpful for these people, since it allows them to see that many people will not forget them and are there to be loving and supportive. Family therapy or relationship counseling also serve this purpose.

Medication is available to treat the anxiety that comes with this phobia. Furthermore, it is helpful during panic attacks. Medication can also treat other symptoms of panic attacks, such as chest pain or breathing difficulties.

Lastly, it is extremely important for friends, family, and those who make plans with an individual suffering from Athazagoraphobia to stick to a plan. They need to make a conscious effort to not cancel these plans or forget about them. Eventually, over time, the person with Athazagoraphobia will learn to build trust in those around them.”

 

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Being Forgotten

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Has this been helpful information for you?   When I read it, I knew I had to share this information with the readers of this blog.  Many of you may be very familiar with the intense emotional pain felt and expressed in this fear.

What are your thoughts and comments about athazagoraphobia?

Do you relate in any way?

Please know I’m thinking of you, and wishing you the best in your healing journey.

You are not forgotten.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2015 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation