Will the Abuse Ever End?


Yesterday-Today-Tomorrow, all at the same time.  The plant that knows how it feels to be dissociative!

Yesterday-Today-Tomorrow, all at the same time. The plant that knows how it feels to be dissociative!

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Hello Everyone,

It’s getting closer to Halloween, and as October happens, I’m quite sure that many of you are struggling with trauma memories, flashbacks, body memories, and the whole range of PTSD symptoms after experiencing trauma and abuse.

Sometimes it feels like the trauma will never end!

But it does.

I promise you, it does end.  It can end, and it does end.

You haven’t lived forever so the trauma hasn’t and won’t exist forever.  You may very well feel stuck in time, and that’s particularly uncomfortable, and yet, if you are reading this blog today, I can guarantee you that at some point in time, you were able to get away from the most recent trauma episode you experienced in your life.

The fact that you are sitting in the place where you see this blog now proves you were able to get away and leave the place of that abusive, traumatic situation.  You are HERE now. You can remember then, all too easily, but right at this moment, you are here, reading with me.  I am very sure you weren’t reading this article when those bad things happened.  That was then, and that terrible trauma ended.  You left that place, and / or the abuser person left that place.

Make sure everyone on the inside knows this.  Don’t assume they all know this because I guarantee some of them won’t be able to see this difference.  The recognition of time change is crucial for your healing.

Time distortion is a complicated experience for dissociative trauma survivors.  In the inside world, time can stop.  It can be the same time today as it was 10-20-30 years ago.  What happened then can feel as fresh and new as if it happened today.

The time confusion for dissociative trauma survivors continues especially when today feels disconnected, unreal, depersonalized, and distant.

So today doesn’t feel real, but 1973 does.

And you might not remember this morning, but you can remember everything from that bad day in 1987.

Ummmmm….  How confusing is that!

Watch this video called Yesterday Today Tomorrow for more comments on this time distortion, time confusion, and Dissociative Identity Disorder.

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Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow. http://youtu.be/2il4C-hDV54

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Work hard with your insiders to connect them to now.  Without a lot of work on your part, your inside world may always feel stuck in time, and your insiders may stay completely tangled into the reality of the abuse they experienced in the past.  But outside time never stops. Outside world time keeps moving along whether you recognize that on the inside or not.

Help your insiders to see the outside world as it is now.  Help them to see they live somewhere else.  Help them to see new things in the world they’ve never seen.  Help them see that “bad guy” is no longer in the room.

Connecting your internal system with the reality of today is essential for your healing.

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Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow . Does this beautiful fragrant flowering plant have Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow . Does this beautiful fragrant flowering plant have Dissociative Identity Disorder?

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This is now.  That was then.

That was then.  This is now.

These are extremely important distinctions to learn for dissociative trauma survivors.

I wish you the best in your healing journey.

Warmly,

Kathy

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The beautiful fragrant plant calked Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow.

The beautiful fragrant plant calked Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow.

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

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Not Listening to Abusive Teachings


You Are Listening

Hello Everyone,

These quotes are massively powerful in their simplicity.

Think of how they can apply to the healing process of a dissociative trauma survivor —  a survivor of any kind of abuse….. Child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, ritual abuse, mind control.

I know and I know and I know without a shadow of doubt that horrific, hideous words were said to you during your years of trauma.  It was wrong for your abusers to say those words. Wrong, vile, and unacceptable on every level.

I am sure that those damaging words and phrases still can be heard in your mind, in your internal communication, and probably even in your own speech.  Removing that trash talk from your mind and your life is essential for your healing, your internal cooperation, and your overall peace of mind.

Have a look at these quotes again.  Can you apply them consistently in your life, and throughout your system?

Change Your Thinking

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It is critically important for your healing that you no longer believe the negative, derogatory, ugly comments that were said by your abusers.  Those horrific words were not truth. They were violence.  They were meant to harm you.

You are not what they say.  You don’t have to listen to those words anymore.  You do not have to accept those words anymore.  You do not have to internalize those words anymore.

It is essential that you separate yourself from abuse.  You cannot control what abusers say, but you can decide to not listen to them.  You can move away from abusers.  You can leave abusive situations.  You can remove abusive speech from your insiders.

You don’t have to be trapped in their negative mind control.  You are who you say.  You can be your own self.  You can insist on appropriate, healthy, respectful language in your own system.

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Know Your Worth

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I can’t say it any better.

It really is important to put these truths into practice.  They are simply said, complicated to apply. Now that you are older, you have the ability, the strength, and the resources to make new decisions. You couldn’t remove yourself from the abuse when you were younger, but you can now. Now really can be different from then.

When you are recovering from the abusive things that were said to you, work tediously to replace those harmful words with positive.  Remove the tapes that were given to you by abusers.  Free your mind from the violence they said to you.  Bust the programming.  Move your insiders from their worlds of darkness.  Find your strengths, your interests, your talents, and build on those.

Fill your mind, your soul, your spirit, your life with words of your own choosing.

You don’t have to let their abusive teachings control you anymore.

You can create a beautiful life full of peace and harmony, inside and out.

I know and I know and I know that you can.

Warmly,

Kathy

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Copyright (C) 2008 – 2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Kathy’s Video Comments: Making a Strong Foundation for Dissociative Healing


Look at what it takes to build the foundation of this tree. Incredible, yes?!

Look at what it takes to build the foundation of this tree. Incredible, yes?!

Hello Everyone,

Silly ol’ me is using a tree metaphor once again to talk about Dissociative Identity Disorder and the very many different areas of healing work to do in DID therapy.  It’s “Tree Tree-ment” for dissociative trauma treatment. Ha ha ha.  :)

This particular video follows along with the article,  50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder  .

I call this tree a fig tree, but I don’t know that I’m right about that.  It’s a big weird freaky tree. The size is incredible, and the base is massive, hence the connection to all the areas of healing process for dissociative survivors.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the amount of work required to reach safety, stability, solidity, serenity?

There are so very many areas of work needed for healing.  After being so shattered by tragic life events, re-building a strong foundation for  your life and system is difficult but possible.  It’s not easy, but your growth can be as impressive as the tree I’m showing you in this video, Treatment Goals for Dissociative Identity Disorder.

 

When you watched the video, did you see my puppy dog in the background? She’s not hiding, but you might have to look for her. She’s definitely visible at a few points. Look close to see if you can find her!

The other side of this big ol' tree...  It's just incredible.

The other side of this big ol’ tree… It’s just incredible.

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I hope that seeing the benefits of a strong solid foundation, even though it means a whopping lot of hard work, encourages you to do all that it takes for your healing.

If you need some idea of what the treatment goals are for dissociative healing, remember to read  50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder .

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A broader view of the whole tree..... It needs that giant base.

A broader view of the whole tree….. It needs that giant base.

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Do you see the similarities with my tree picture and this detailed picture about  Dissociative Identity Disorder?  Amazing resemblance, yes?! (Photo credit: genelin1211)

Do you see the similarities with my tree picture and this detailed picture about
Dissociative Identity Disorder? Amazing resemblance, yes?!
(Photo credit: genelin1211)

How amazing is that picture about how it feels to have Dissociative Identity Disorder?!

I wish you the best in your healing journey with 50  “treement” issues for DID.  :)

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

I’m Not Gonna Miss You


Falling Over

Alzheimer’s takes so much away.

The person you knew and loved is not there anymore. You can still see them, but it’s not them. They are there, but they are gone.  They are no longer standing as who they once were. They’ve fallen, and become someone else.

Alzheimer’s is such a tragic disease.

Most of us have lost loved ones to one form of disease or another.  Disease, injuries,  accidents, illnesses. All kinds of  troublesome events can take our loved ones away from us.

Heartbreaking.
Loss and grief are such painful emotions.

If your heart is breaking, or has been broken by watching your loved one slip away from you, please have a listen to this incredible song by Glen Campbell, written about his final stages of Alzheimer’s. It has just recently been released, and will be Glen Campbell’s final song.

I think it’s his best song.

This music is just far too powerful and heart-reaching to not share. I’m sure we all can relate to how it feels to lose someone.

I’m Not Gonna Miss You — a heart-wrenching description of Alzheimer’s Disease , grief, loss, and passing.

So beautifully but painfully intense.

I realize that most of the readers of this blog are not here to hear about Alzheimer’s .  However, many of the mental health diseases and the long term effects of trauma can steal people away from each other.  Or prevent relationships. Or interfere with relationships. Or end relationships.  Or block feelings.  Or block emotional connections.  Or create distance between people.

You might understand a whole lot about how this feels.

It hurts.

I hope this song brings comfort to your pain.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Kathy’s Video Comments: Are You Switching in your Sleep?


Lunar Eclipse 2014

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Hello Everyone,

How did you sleep last night? There was a big freaky lunar eclipse last night. I went outside to look but I didn’t see it due to cloud coverage. You might have seen it. Was it incredible and fascinating or was it scary for you?

All this busy night time activity reminds me of the 2010 Discussing Dissociation article, Switching in Your Sleep -– Are you Snoozing or Secretly Awake?  It is one of the most viewed articles here at Discussing Dissociation.

Dissociative trauma survivors often struggle with unknown or unrecognized night time activity in their system. There are plenty of reasons for that.

This video comment explains a few of the ways switching and sleeping get tangled together for dissociative trauma survivors.

Kathy from Discussing Dissociation

Kathy from Discussing Dissociation

Are You Switching in Your Sleep?: http://youtu.be/uHqAWf1ndgE

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 I hope this is helpful.

Please stay safe!

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

How Do You Define Yourself?


Baby Ducks on Lilypond

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How do you define yourself?

I saw this beautiful poem tacked to the wall of a kind and generous charitable organization. I read it over and over, and couldn’t leave without writing it down. I do not know the author, but whoever they are, they have put a wonderful, inspiring message out. I am pleased to be able to share it with you.

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I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my past.

I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.

 

I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.

I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.

 

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.

I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.

 

I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.

I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.

 

I am not my pain.
I am not my past.

 

I am that which emerged from the fire.
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~ Author Unknown ~

 

Wow.

Powerful words.

To me, this poem describes the lives of most dissociative trauma survivors.  The roadblocks, the disappointments, the challenging relationships, the hard knocks, the pain.

But also, as a survivor, having found and built and created the courage, the forgiveness, the faith, the love, and the strength to stand again and again and again….

To me, you are an inspiration. A symbol of hope, strength, and resilience. A testimony of the beauty in mankind despite fighting and facing the worst of mankind.

What do you think?  Can you feel these qualities in yourself?  They are there.

Who have you grown to be?

How do you define yourself?

Warmly,

Kathy

 

Baby Ducklings

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Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Rainbow Birds! Oh so pretty!


Rainbow Lorikeets

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Hello Everyone,

We’ve had a string of difficult topics, so it’s time for something fun again!  I figure it’s time to do something that brings out great big smiles for your kids.

Ever seen Rainbow Lorikeets ?

Rainbow birds!!!

Look at all the different colors.  Aren’t they beautiful?

These birds are some of the prettiest and funniest birds I have ever seen!

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Having fun with Rainbow Birds!

Isn’t that a great smile?! I think this little one was having a really great time. :)

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Are your kids smiling yet?  I sure am.  Just looking at these pictures makes me smile. :)

Do you see the birds having their dinner?  What do you think they were eating?

Broccoli?  Nope.

Asparagus?  Nope.

Worms?  Nope!

They had a special birdie-friendly, soupy looking, oatmeal smelling, sloppy mix of goopy stuff!  Those birdies were eating bird-porridge!

Can you see the funny bowl the birds are eating from?  At the zoo, you can hold these giant bowls by their extra long handles and the pretty birdies will fly right to your bowl and chow down.  The birds get so excited!  They fly from bowl to bowl, nibbling their goopy goodies as fast as they can.

At the zoo, there were hundreds and hundreds of these beautiful birds flying in for their dinner.  They were just everywhere!  Squawk! Squawk! Chirp! Screech!  They were sooooooo noisy too.

And look!!

They will even land on your head!!!!

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Heads up for Rainbow Lorikeets!!  What's on your head, Kathy?!

Heads up for Rainbow Lorikeets!! What’s on your head, Kathy?!

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Ha ha ha!  Aren’t they such funny birds?

How many birds do you count in this picture? There are more than 10. Can you see them hiding in the trees?

What a great day that was to see soooooooooo many pretty birds, and to have such fun with them.  I wish I had a video of that very special day.

Do you want to hear their funny little chirpy, squawky sounds?  I have a video of a different day when I fed them in the rain. There was about 25 birds coming for dinner this day.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VWpbj49t3I

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This video, Raining on Rainbow Lorikeets, and others about Dissociative Identity Disorder can be found  On my new YouTube channel, Kathy from Discussing Dissociation.

I hope these pretty birds bring a smile to your face today!

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Happy day! Such a wonderful, fun experience!

Happy day! Such a wonderful, fun experience!

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What are you going to do to bring a smile to your kids’ faces today?  When your kids feel happier, everyone feels a little happier…..

There are lots of interesting options out in the world.  Take some time to enjoy, just for fun. :)

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

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Kathy’s Video Comment: Self Injury and Dissociative Identity Disorder


Hug Your Dog, or Kitty

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Hello Everyone,

The last posts have been about Depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder. A typical close neighbor to feeling depressed and struggling with the after-effects of trauma is addressing the self-injury monster.

Self injury, self destruction, self harm — and the numerous ways to say it — are some of the most read about topics on this blog. There are lots of folks wrestling with these issues.

Self injury is a very complex topic. Lots of layers. Lots of reasons.

My short video, Self Injury and Dissociative Identity Disorder, initiates a conversation about these topics.

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  • What are some of your thoughts?
  • Have you made progress in your fight with self injury?
  • Do you think of self injury as a kind of abuse?
  • How do feel about protecting your system from all kinds of hurt, including self injury?

I wish you the best in your healing journey.

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder, part 2


Kathy Broady:

 

Depression and Dissociation

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Here’s Part 2 of Depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Part 1 had 7 ideas that can help.
Part 2 has 8 more.

I wish you the best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy

 

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation 

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Depression and Dissociation.

Welcome to the second half of “Depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder”.  The first seven tips have been previously posted.  At this point in time, I will continue with the list of tips for how to specifically address chronic depression for trauma survivors with DID:

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8. As the memories surface, feelings will also surface.  Expressing genuine emotion is key to working through depression.  Crying tears of grief, screaming out in anger, quivering in fear may not feel comfortable, but holding these very real and intense emotions deep within will create long-term depression.  Allowing these emotions to come out safely and appropriately – even if years after the original point of acquiring these emotions – will help.

9. In the appropriate time, let other parts of your dissociative system know about the information that was held by the depressed parts.  Overcoming the dissociative barriers by sharing that information…

View original 976 more words

Depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder, part 1


Kathy Broady:

Depressed woman, Shattered Glass

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Depression.
And Dissociative Identity Disorder.
It’s gonna happen.

At the same time…. You can bet on that.
Read below for seven helpful ideas….

Warmly,

Kathy

Copyright © 2008-2014 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation

Originally posted on Discussing Dissociation:

Dissociative Identity Disorder

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So you’re depressed, and you’re DID.  That feels like a double whammy already, so what do you do now?

Depression and DID go hand in hand for many trauma survivors.  They are not the same diagnosis, but can be closely knitted together.

When you are DID, you might have some parts that are depressed, while simultaneously having other parts that are not depressed.  Dissociative walls and amnesiac barriers can separate the feelings / emotions / information that the depressed parts have, so that is different from what is known or felt by the non-depressed parts.

Survivors with DID can feel nearly crippled by the intensity of their depression.  It follows them around like a warm blanket and a lifelong friend.  Sometimes it’s hard for survivors to imagine life not depressed.  The idea of being genuinely happy is a foreign concept that seems out of reach.

All too many…

View original 760 more words