Please Note: New Blog Changes Ahead for DiscussingDissociation !

Banner, Header, Umbrellas, Wind, Fly


Hey Everyone —

I am SOOOO excited to be announcing this.

Many of you have probably already read that I have been planning some new blog changes.  

WELL….it’s happening!  


And happening quite soon.  At least the first step, or two.


Probably starting BY TOMORROW, this blog will be getting a giant upgrade to a new Premium Theme.  The entirety of everything will be transferred over, and placed into a brand new “Blog House”, lol.  


Now…. please do not ask me the technical terms for ANY of this — I’ve hired a talented web technician who actually knows how to manage technology….  It’s seriously above my head, that’s for sure.  I’m not taking any chances with all the precious material and comments here on the blog.  I don’t want anything to get lost — not one thing!


Please note:  I won’t be able to put in any new articles / content while the move is taking place.  AND…if you happen to post a comment, please keep a copy of it, because your comment might get lost in the shuffle over as well.




And it will be soooo worth it.   Our new Discussing Dissociation blog place will be better, wonderful, fantastic, full of growth, and it will have all kinds of new features added over the next months of time.  It will look different than it does right now.  The new plans are AWESOME!!

I’m very, very excited about this move.  It’s an EXCELLENT step towards making DiscussingDissociation a better community for dissociative survivors, their loved ones, and the mental health professionals involved.


So…. just know…. please remember ….  don’t forget…..over the next week or so… this blog will be being moved.  The brand new blog will take a little time to get ready, and at some point within a week or so…  (???), it is going to look a whole lot better around here!


I don’t know if there will be a time where the connection to the blog appears lost, or not.  But even if that happens, give it a bit of time, and come back to check again. 


Resistance to Change


I promise I’m not going away!

We’re just moving to a better place!


See you all there….  :D  :)  :D  )  :D  :)  :D




Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

5000 Comments Posted on DiscussingDissociation


Yep!  :)

That’s right!!  :)


We have made 5000 comments on this blog.

You.  Y’all.  All you rock stars out there!

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!



No, no, that’s NOT spam — spam comments are never posted, and any attempt at spam is deleted, so nope… that junk is not part of the count.  Far too many blog sites actually delete their comment sections, or refuse to allow comments due to the invasion of icky spammers.  What a shame, and I’m so glad that’s not the case here.

Because not having the comments here would massively decrease the value of this blog.  

What Y’ALL say matters around here!

And that count of 5000, that’s certainly not all me — my comments are only a tiny small portion of the 5000.  According to my stat page, I’ve made less than 200 comments, so you know… it’s not me!


Those 5000 comments —  those 5000 WONDERFUL comments —-

That’s the wisdom, encouragement, support, and questions you all have shared with each other.  


I’ve said it before, and I still think this…..

Without all the comments and interaction made on this blog by you the readers, this blog wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful.

Your comments help to make this blog more of supportive community, and less like a book with a whole lot of words.

DiscussingDissociation is SO much better having you all around.  I’m not the expert here.  Y’all are the experts.

No doubt about it!


My readers are AWESOME 



Your thoughts, comments, and participation are GREATLY appreciated



Well done, everyone.  Well done.  :)



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder




So you care deeply about someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder.  There was something wonderful about them that drew you to them, and something trustworthy about you that drew them to you.

Beautiful as that may be, you are probably confused about all the dissociative issues that happen day-to-day.

Have you ever wondered why that happens, or why this happens?

Have you ever felt confused with the different behaviors you see coming from your dissociative partner?

Have you wondered how do you live with someone with a Dissociative Disorder?

I have some ideas.  Start with these things:


1.Gain an understanding of what DID is.

There is a wealth of information available to learn about DID and all Dissociative Disorders.  Your loved one will not be able to explain everything to you, nor do they need to do that, nor will the pressure to explain everything to you be comfortable for either of you.  You can do your own research, and you can learn lots.  You might be surprised what all you find out, and by learning about DID, you can be more informed and better able to handle situations.

Becoming well-informed about dissociative disorders will help you understand that so much of what you are seeing is actually very normal for a dissociative person.  When you realize what is “normal”, you won’t feel so angry, or confused, or in the dark.  It just helps to know what to expect.


2. Reassure your loved one, over and over, that you love them as a person, regardless of their DID.

Your loved one will feel insecure about themselves being a lovable person simply because they are dissociative, and they feel all kinds of mixed messages about themselves as a person, mostly due to a very troubled past.  These insecurities are very common after lots of family trauma and probably have at least one parent who was far too rough, mean, demeaning, and cruel.

The “I’m not lovable” dynamic is going to be an issue — they won’t believe you that you love them, no matter what you say.  So yep, you’ll have to reassure them over, and over, and over, and show them in all kinds of ways.   There is a whole lot more that goes into their thinking these things, but expect this to be a recurring issue, even after years of time.

Don’t take it personal!  These struggles relate more to the past than to the present, although it will be very important for you to provide a loving, safe, warm, gentle home environment as possible.


3. Talk openly with your partner.

Good communication is worth more than gold!  Talk openly with your partner about what approach they want from you in addressing them as a person.  Get some courage — this can be tough — but have lots of honest conversations with your partner so you can understand what they want and need from you. These needs will change, and it’s not easy to figure out the best approach anyway.

Do they want you to use one specific name consistently?

Do they want you to use the names of individual system members?

Talk openly together, and find out what is most comfortable for the two of you.


4. Be respectful to each and every insider.

Be respectful to each and every insider, especially the ones that you know and recognize, but also to the ones you don’t yet know or recognize.  Know that these different selves will feel different and separate from each other, and they may very well appreciate being recognized as individuals.  No matter who they are, treat each insider with kindness, respect, honesty, etc.

And remember this.  There will be insiders watching you even if you don’t see them. They’ll be watching and listening from inside, even when someone else is presenting on the outside.  In some ways, it’s like being on constant observation, so just be aware that anyone in the system, at any point in time, can possibly hear or see what is happening.

Treat them well, because they will most definitely remember if you don’t!


5. Build a personal relationship with each insider that you meet.

Personal relationships are important to everyone, including every one in a dissociative system. Each of the inner people will have their own ideas, thoughts, likes, preferences, dislikes, fears, feelings, etc.  They will have their own names, mannerisms, behaviors, etc.   As you get to know each insider as their own person, you will be able to recognize who is with you at that moment, and then you can understand what is happening much easier.  It will make sense to you, for example, if you know the kid parts are out, and all of a sudden there are messy piles of stuffies and colored socks thrown around the house.   However, if you don’t learn to recognize the different insiders, you will feel confused at the changes that you see and experience.

Another hint.  When it comes to Christmas, lots of the insiders really and truly appreciate a gift that is just for them.  Now… I know there are limits to how many presents you’ll be able to provide, but keep this in mind, and share the love across the whole of everyone.  Don’t give all the gifts to just one or two of the insiders.  Spread your gift-giving out to a wider variety of the people, and keep it fair for everyone in the system.


6. Be prepared for inconsistencies.

Yes, be very prepared for lots and lots of inconsistencies, and lots of changes of mind.  DID is build on the concept of switching and being able to withstand extreme opposites.  This was required for survival, and every dissociative person has a system full of insiders with very different approaches to life.  This is normal for your loved one, and it’s not the fault of the DID survivor.

However, it can be very difficult to live with, both for the survivor themselves, and for the loved ones around them. Expect your DID person to tell you a variety of answers, each contradictory to the one they said last.  Eventually, your DID loved one will find more consistency in themselves, as they build their inner teamwork and system cooperation.  While that’s happening, please allow lots of grace for the flippity-flops.


7.  Find ways to give your dissociative loved one some positive experiences that they missed in the past.

What does this mean?  For example, if your partner didn’t get to play very much as a child, find a whole series of fun things to do.  The inside child parts will very much need time to play, draw, color, run, swing, throw a baseball, play in the park, etc.  You’ll be able to find all kinds of fun activities that even the adults can enjoy.  Go to water parks, go tobogganing, play at the beach, watch some of the fantastic kids movies, etc.

There is so much healing and recovery work to do that is hard, painful, and heavy.  Bringing in the fun things will be a very much needed break from the hard stuff, and will most definitely help with recovering from the losses experienced in past years.

Another example:  if your dissociative loved one didn’t get to eat properly while growing up, put a lot of effort into making sure they get enough good quality healthy food now.  Cook special foods, create interesting treats, find new things to eat, and encourage everyone in the system to try these new foods.

Be willing to go overboard in the areas that were laden with deprivation in the past.  Your DID loved one will need the extra help in these areas, and you can be of great assistance to their healing when you help out here.


8. Be cautious and careful about physical touch.

Most dissociative trauma survivors have experienced hideous amounts of unhealthy touch.  This could have been in the form of sexual abuse, or physical abuse, violence, etc.  The opposite probably also happened — a complete lack of touch.  As young children, DID survivors had to navigate these difficult experiences all on their own.  Their touch preferences will be very much grounded in what happened to them as a child.

Many survivors who were abused were often not comforted properly, so the concept of “good touch” will be new or foreign or frightening.   Some survivors over-compensate later by having what feels to be an excessive and exhausting need for good touch.  Other survivors will remain frightened by touch or uninterested in touch, and be massively aloof, preferring to not be touched at all.

Sudden or unexpected touch will likely be terrifying, triggering, and could set off a series of flashbacks, bad memories, or nightmares.  It is particularly important to let your partner be very aware before there is any touch — even the good stuff.

Take the time to have some genuine conversations with your partner about which kinds of touch are particularly frightening or uncomfortable for them.  Also, learn which areas of their body are particularly “No Go Zones”.   These areas are likely heavily trauma-related, so if you know what places to avoid, you and your partner can both feel more secure with each other.


9.  Sexual intimacy is completed complicated, so please tread oh, so so gently.

Oh boy.  Now THIS is a difficult topic for disociative trauma survivors.  As the partner, you’ll see the whole range of everything, from older insiders who appear interested and very sexually active, to younger parts who appear willing to be involved in sexual interactions, to angry ones, to terrified screaming ones, to frozen silent ones, to seeing insiders run to the bathroom afterwards, racing for the shower or to  throw up.  It’s NOT an easy area for anyone.

I can offer a 100% guarantee there will be struggles in this area, at some point in time, if not for a long period of time.

Let’s remember this.  Some of the most hideous abuse suffered by your loved one most likely involved sexual abuse.  So… any relationship involving sexual intimacy is going to be very tangled with the past, even if your partner is willing to be with you in the present. Sexual activity is the biggest trigger of sexual abuse.   The literal involvement of the body itself will create huge PTSD reactions, even if the person is willing to be gently touched by you.  The emotional backlash can be overwhelming, even if the experience between you and your partner was positive.  The body will remember things before the person does.

Knowing WHO you are with will, of course, be a very tender topic.  Please do not have sexual relationships with the child parts!  This is an obvious for most partners, but some more “Mr. Magoo” types won’t even notice.

Sexual relationships are such a huge, huge area of work for couples.  It CAN be addressed, and for many of you, will involve years of hard work.

This area of healing is as crucial as any other, so please don’t give up.


10. Have FUN with your partner.

There are so many wonderful attributes with your spouse and partner — that’s why you picked them to be with in the first place.  Never ever forget these amazing qualities, and spend time doing the beautiful things.  Maybe your partner is musically talented.  Maybe they are incredibly artistically talented.  Maybe they have an uncanny way with animals.  Maybe they write amazing poetry.   They WILL have some very unique and beautiful qualities and talents, so enjoy that!  Create time in your week to enjoy the beauty that you see in your loved one.  They are sooo much more than just their difficult history.  They have a shine to them that is far beyond the “normal Joe’s” out there.

Find those beauty spots, and sit there for awhile.

Sit there for a long while, and really and truly enjoy your person.



Your dissociative loved one is very much worth the extra effort it will take to understand the DID side of life.  It’s not scary.  It’s just how it is.  It’s difficult, yes.  And do-able.

The more you can learn, the more you can accept, the greater your relationship will be.

There’s so much more to say, but let’s start there for now.

I wish you all the best in your journeys together.



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

How Many People Have Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Surreal, Dream, Face, Woman, Dreams


Hi Everyone,

I was doing some research today, and wondered how many people have Dissociative Identity Disorder.

So far, what I could find, the statistics are saying that approximately 1% of the population is DID.

So… with a current world population of 7.4 billion people, that means there are approximately 74 million dissociative people.


Yep, at 1% of the population, that is 74,000,000 people who have a dissociative disorder.


7 4 , 0 0 0 , 0 00 people!

74 million people.

74 million dissociative people.



That’s pretty staggering, hey?   

I had to post that.  

Just that.  Blonde, Comic Characters, Female

Because I think THAT says a lot.

Oh — and if anyone has a more recent statistic on the percentage of the population, please let me know.  I didn’t take a long chunk of time researching it, but 1% is what I found.

Just shocking.  Mind boggling. Incredible. I don’t know what else to say about that, except….

Hi, hi, hi, and hi, 74 million times over.  :)



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Podcast Interview with Kathy from Discussing Dissociation


Hello Everyone,  

I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Brigid Fitzgerald from .

Brigid has an exciting online business offering encouragement and support for women breaking free from the misery of midlife madness — particularly for women 40+ years of age looking to do something new, different, courageous, inspiring.  She has blog articles, a series of short YouTube videos, an email course, and is currently adding podcast interviews with women who have made drastic changes in their lives.

As I made the giant change of moving from the USA to Australia in 2011, with nothing but a few suitcases in hand, Brigid felt I would be a good person to interview for her Be Inspired blog.  Brigid said I was an example of a “gutsy midlife woman who has smashed the myths of midlife”!!

Wow.  I felt honored to be invited for that!

(Yikes!  A podcast interview! Something completely new to do … but okay… I’ll try it.)

The timing of this experience was very interesting to me.  Brigid opened a door that I would not have opened myself.  First of all, I had just posted my “Where Have you Been Kathy”  blog article with some much needed explanations for the readers here.  Secondly, many people still have additional questions about what happened the past five years, but I hadn’t found the right way or the right platform to address the questions that people wanted to ask.

And then out of nowhere, Brigid — someone very new to my life — presented an opportunity to for me to answer some of questions that many of you want to know.

Now, I must admit, I was excited to do the interview, but quite nervous and anxious at the same time.  You can hear that in my voice!  I’m not experienced at live recordings, and not being sure what questions she was going to ask me, I was very unsure.  In the interview, I’m talking fast, I say “ummmm” about a million times, and my thoughts bounce around from place to place.

And seriously, do I really sound like that?!

(Yes, yes, and yes, I realize it’s going to take quite some practice for me to be a good podcast speaker!)

Of course, in all my anxiety, and in the heat of the moment, I forgot to include certain things in my responses to her questions.

If you listen to the podcast, and if you’ve been reading through this blog, you will already know some of the information I forgot to say.

I wish I remembered to talk about… Image result for dugong

  • the dugong that swam right beside me, touching the side of my leg, the very first time I swam in the ocean.  I was convinced it was a shark that lost its fin!  Who knows what a dugong is anyway??!!!   We don’t have those in Texas, and they certainly don’t live in Canada!
  • the balcony full of 12 different kinds of birds that visited me every day, sometimes many times a day (remember all the bird stories?).  Those magpies, peewees, lorikeets, and drongos were such great pals when I first arrived in Australia and didn’t have my precious pugs and bulldogs with me.
  • having pugs and bulldogs that might not survive a very, very long and possibly hot ride in the cargo section of an international flight, confined inside a dog crate for extended hours (those adorable smushed noses lead more breathing problems and less ability to manage higher temperatures)


This is Emma. Precious, sweet Emma Yemma.

This is Emma. Precious, sweet Emma Yemma Girl.


  • the 6-bypass open heart surgery that my father had while I was away, nearly taking his life
  • the cancerous tumor the size of a grapefruit sitting on my father’s intestines that had to be removed while I was away – another life threatening ordeal for him to manage
  • completely changing my hairstyle, cutting it drastically short, and blasting it bright red
  • learning Tai Chi and learning to sloooooow down
  • seeing dozens of kangaroos and little tiny koalas in the grass beside the road — I mean, wow, now how cool is that?!
  • the wild peacock that lived with me at “the goat house” and having heavy rainstorms completely wash away the bridge and the road to my house….!  Living stranded inside the mountains!


ME! Kathy enjoying life in Australia

ME! Kathy enjoying life in Australia


I answered most of Brigid’s questions with the years of 2011 and 2012 in mind.  There is so much more that could be said, but I hope this 52 minute interview helps you to understand some of what you didn’t know before.

And even though it was a little scary for me to put this out there, I do hope you find these stories interesting, and maybe a few parts of it entertaining.  Most of all, for those of you who have been waiting and wondering for a few years of time, I hope this personal information fills in some of the gaps that you may have about me.




Please Be Inspired, and have a listen to this podcast:

Be Inspired Living

Kathy : Arrived in a new country with 2 suitcases


And if this small portion of my life story does inspire any of you to have the courage to make big changes in your life, that’s excellent news.

Sweet little Oliver. Such a good boy!

Sweet little Oliver. Such a good boy!

Be brave!  If I can make big changes, so can you!

I wish you all the best in your healing journey.










Since I referenced the atrocities of “Snake Mountain” in the podcast, I’ll share a few “nice” pictures of that experience.  Even though it was completely bizarre in some ways, it was still very beautiful.


Mountains of Rural Australia

Mountains of Rural Australia

Imagine living where your closest neighbor is miles away...

Imagine living where your closest neighbor is miles away…



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

A New Instagram: silver.kelpies


Lots of whiskers, but too young for teeth!

Lots of whiskers, but too young for teeth!

Hi Y’all,

Just a quick announcement today.  Lots of people — well, maybe their inside little people — enjoy the puppy pictures in particular.  And… as much as I would truly enjoy just putting up puppy pictures, I really do need to keep focusing on those big topics too.

So I’ve created a new Instagram account just for the puppies.

Instagram:  silver.kelpies

I’ve only added a few pictures as of today, but I’ll be adding more and more over time, I’m sure.  It’s fun, and let’s face it.  These cute little silver bells are just irresistible!!  :)

Little Murray... cute as pie!!

Little Murray… cute as pie!!

So if you, or your littles, want to keep up with seeing more sweet puppy faces, that’s a good place to start.



and Pinky, and Joe Bob.  :)

and all the puppies too.  :)


For more pictures, go to Instagram:   silver.kelpies

Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

What Do You Need to Know About Dissociative Identity Disorder?



Hi Everyone,

If you’ve been reading recent blogs, you are well aware that I’m doing some work to expand this blog into a bigger community.

So while I’m working on building the new structure,  I’d like to hear your input again.  I have my ideas, of course, but let’s face it.  Unless this blog has the information you need, what’s the point, right?

This is a large resource already, but I’m very sure that there are topics not yet covered.  I know lots of topics need expansion — yes, of course. It’s certainly important to know what you want to know more about.

I’m also curious to see if you can show me the topics that haven’t had any exposure at all yet.

What have I forgotten to write about?


These are the kinds of questions I have in mind:

  • What do you want to know about Dissociative Identity Disorder, but haven’t been able to find in this blog?
  • What do you need to know about Dissociative Identity Disorder, but haven’t been able to find elsewhere?
  • What questions do you need answered?
  • If you could list five topics that need to be elaborated upon, what are those five topics?


It’s great if you are willing to post your thoughts as a public comment for other readers to see and bounce their own ideas with.   I think that’s an important part of the educational experience, and it creates more sharing within the community.

However, I’ve also noticed that these private contact forms have given lots of readers greater willingness and freedom to reply, and because I really do want to hear your thoughts, so I’m happy to include this option as well.



Oh, and before I forget to point this out, I’ve moved the email newsletter opt-in box to the TOP of the right column, instead of being at the bottom.  This email feature is going to expand soon.  

If you want to make sure to stay in touch with all the new changes, be sure to add your email today!



PS:  I love the ways these unique groups of mushrooms look like little groups of insiders!  Connected together, yet separate from each other.  Similar, but each unique. Bigs, littles, some sheltering others, some hiding in the back…

I don’t know about you, but I really like mushrooms.  :)



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

DID Phone Consultations with Kathy from Discussing Dissociation

. PHONE CONSULTATIONS with Kathy from Discussing Dissociation Get the “Welcome Back to Consultations!” Offer* (time limited*) . Welcome back to Consultations? Welcome back?  Have you be…

Source: DID Phone Consultations with Kathy from Discussing Dissociation

Kathy, Where Have You Been These Past 5 Years?

Magnificent Coastline View


Five years!

Those of you who have been reading here for awhile will know what I’m talking about, and some of you are going to learn a whole lot about me today.  :)

FIRST — I want to say… this month is the 15-year anniversary for the beginning of my very first online therapeutic site for dissociative trauma survivors — AbuseConsultants — a website offering online counseling, email consultations, phone sessions, and Skype sessions.  That was probably  one of the first online therapeutic resources for survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder.   AbuseConsultants had gobs of information, pages of survivor art and survivor poetry, and all kinds of good stuff.  It was the early days of online counseling, back when people were afraid of doing much of anything online.  There certainly weren’t very many online mental health professionals back then — we were the mavericks challenging the old ways of doing things.  I had already been working extensively with trauma and dissociation for about 15 years before that, so I wasn’t worried about being able to recognize dissociative issues from a distance.  And with all that confidence,  AbuseConsultants opened its doors in April 2001 — 15 years ago this month, and wow, things have really changed since then.

First of all, it’s not weird to see online therapy anymore.  It’s not weird to see people offering Skype sessions, or phone sessions, or distance therapy.  Our world has become more accustomed to that idea.  And thank goodness!  Because there certainly are not enough good DID therapists in the world, that’s for sure.

Life has changed lots for me too.  When AbuseConsultants was active,  I lived in the Dallas, Texas area.  I had a beautiful little comfy office, in addition to keeping busy with online counseling, email consultations, and phone sessions.  At a later date, I added a therapeutic group support forum, SurvivorForum, and kept super busy with that for 5 or 6 years.   Yep, I was working with dissociative folks in my office, over the phone / emails, and also with a 24/7 online group.  Talk about BUSY!!

And then came 2011, when life completely changed for me.

What happened?  Where did you go, Kathy?  What have you been doing?

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that….

Well, to condense very briefly, all within a matter of a few months in the beginning of 2011, everything flipped.

My husband had a sudden, and unexpected complete life threatening medical emergency that took me right out of work and into full-time medical assistance for an extended period of time.  (He’s fine now, but it was quite scary for awhile).

And the building where I had my office was sold to some other company, so all of us who rented office space from there were given notice to move out as the entire building was becoming something else.  Sad day, as that was such a comfortable little office…

And then another family member was having a sudden life threatening medical crisis, and needed immediate full-time care and assistance… which was the final blow to my days in Texas.

I was completely exhausted and worn down from complicated messes that were everywhere, on every level of my life (those are giant topics of their own, for another day…), but you know… when there is a life-threatening medical crisis, there is no time to wait.  Or to rest.

And in yet another big rush, I boxed up a few things, put a few things in storage, sold a whole bunch of stuff, donated a whole bunch of stuff, tossed out a whole bunch of stuff….

Packed a few suitcases.

Got on a plane.

Flew for hours.

And landed in Australia.

Yep.  From Dallas to Australia.

(Actually, that first flight originally left from Dallas, went to Baltimore, then to Washington DC, then back over to San Francisco, across to Seoul South Korea, then down to Sydney, but who’s worried about details…. It was just a LOT of flying hours!)

A kangaroo in the wild....

A kangaroo in the wild….


Down under.

Land of the kangaroos, koala bears, and crocodiles.  And kookaburras and kelpies.

This is where I am.

Nearly five years later, I’m down here in beautiful Australia.  You might have guessed that by looking at some of the pictures and video’s I’ve posted, full of pretty flowers, weird trees, beach scenes, kookaburras, etc.   If you did guess Australia, you were right!  And now that you know, you’ll certainly be able to see Australia in lots of the pictures and video’s.  Enjoy!

My years here have been a time of refreshment.  Of healing.  Of peace and quiet.  Of complicated life messes, as per usual.  But the beauty of this country has been enormously good for my very worn down and exhausted heart and soul.  I didn’t expect to be here this long, but life did what life does, and here I still sit. Bottle Brushes

At least it’s beautiful here. And the Aussie folks have been wonderful to me, even though they think I am the one with the funny accent.  Ha!

So why am I telling you all of this?

Because now…. this is where YOU come in.  :)

I’ve made a few casual comments here and there about it, so today is a bigger, more official statement.

I’m getting ready to come back to work.   Yep, that’s right.  I’m coming back and doing it again.

Oh MY!!

My five year break has left me much more rested, much more centered, much more at peace, and ready to go.  I was pretty darn exhausted back in 2011.  A good, long rest was waaaaaaaay overdue.

(Did y’all know that while you all are a beautiful group of people, you are each very complex and complicated, and it’s very very exhausting to work with multiples all the time, every day, for years and years at a time??  I mean no offense, but you know… I was TIRED!!)

So yes, it’s been enormously helpful for me to have some down time to focus on puppies, and rain forests, and beaches, and gardening, and pretty flowers, and healthy cooking, and physical exercise.  I’ve lost some weight, and I sleep a lot better now.  I didn’t get to pack my piano in my suitcase for the plane — I really miss my music! —  but I have plans for that too.  Life won’t be complete until I’m back at the piano again.


I took this picture with my iPad. No editing. How gorgeous was that sunrise!!!

I took this picture with my iPad. No editing. How gorgeous was that sunrise!!!


The awesome beauty of nature has been my place of peace and solace.  It’s just filled my soul and brought health and wellness back to me.  I’ll have to go on and on about that another time, later.

Now that I’m feeling better, it’s time to dig back into work.

I’m already working with a professional Blogging Coach to help me address issues various technical and administrative issues here on the blog.  I’m learning all kinds of new options that you will see put into action over the next chunk of time.  I’m working at it as quickly as I can assemble the information, so yes, you will most definitely see things changing bit by bit around here.

I’m soon to hire a new Web Techie person, because let’s face it.  Technology is STILL allergic to me, and I am STILL hopeless at doing much of anything more than just typing.  So when that techie savvy web-smart person gets to work for me, who knows what all will look different!  20150425_154615.jpg

But I will still be here.

AND…. in honor of AbuseConsultant’s humble beginnings in April 2001, I want to offer to do some phone consultations again.

What?  It’s been a long time coming, Kathy — did you really just say that???

Yes, I did.

I’m opening up my schedule, for at least a short while, to do to phone consultations again.

I’m not offering to be an ongoing therapist — you will need to find / keep your local therapist.  But if you have questions to ask, or you need a second opinion on a blockage that you’re struggling with, or if you have been reading the blog for awhile, and you have your own personal questions you want to ask me…..  this is your chance.

Yes, I’m interested in doing consultations.

I’ll soon write an official page that will explain all the details about having a phone session with me, so all the boring, but required information will be available there.  You know, stuff like how to schedule, what are the costs, how to pay, etc.  All that super fun exciting stuff will get it’s very own page.  :)

I can say now, that of course, I am not set up to take any insurance payments whatsoever as I am providing this service from Australia.  If you can convince your insurance company to pay me, then major kudo’s to you!  Chances are they won’t, so likely you’ll need to use PayPal to make an appointment happen.

I can answer questions, your questions, in a consultation.  I’m good at asking questions, and I figure I can be good at answering questions too.

RainForest PathAnd I would be happy to do so!  :)

Here I am, and I have a phone that works.

How about those apples?!!  :)

I bet you didn’t expect to hear THAT today.  :)

Anyway…. that’s a lot of news to share.  I think I’ll leave it here, at this point, and let y’all have a little think.

THANK YOU, all of you, for staying with me, and for reading here during all these years that I have been tucked away, recuperating from all the overwhelm of a complicated life and exhausting workload.  It’s good good good to practice good self care, so when I say to you — Be Kind To Yourself !!!  — you’ll know that I am coming from a place where I’ve had to do that too.

There’s always more to say, but that can wait for later.

Please do take care, and maybe just maybe I’ll be talking to you soon.



Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation


The Dangers of Losing Time


Quick Thought to Consider:

I had a conversation this week that reminded me of a very important “thinking spot” for trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Which is worse — being multiple?  Or being dissociative?

With multiplicity, you are leading a life combined with lots of others inside, making everything a plural existence.

Being dissociative — in the way that I am referencing the term for the sake of this article — is about dis-associating, not associating, and not being aware of what is happening.  It’s separating yourself from whatever is happening, and being the ostrich who is absolutely not looking.  It’s about time loss, not being present, and not being aware.  It’s the amnesia that occurs between the insiders.

In your opinion, which is more dangerous, and which creates more problems in your life?

What are your thoughts about these questions?



This is a “quick spot”, so I’m not going to delve deep into all the pro’s and con’s right at this moment.  But I have a quick answer.

In my opinion, it’s not the multiplicity that is the ultimate problem.  Being many people and having many parts inside — while incredibly challenging, yes — does not have to get in your way of high functioning.  You can be very multiple, have a whole system of inside people, and still be very successful at whatever it is that you do.  This requires excellent team work and internal communication skills, of course, but it is absolutely possible.

In my opinion, one of the things that can potentially knock you down and mess with your life in a matter of a few disastrous seconds is time loss, especially the amnesiac version of time loss, where you don’t know what happened while you were “away”.

If you lose time, then that means ANYthing can be happening.

It means others in your system are able to be, or required to be, completely separate from you and many others in your system. That kind of separation or segregation can certainly impact healthy living and safe choices.  It increases vulnerability and leaves some of your system members stuck in places they can’t get out of.

When there is time loss, and a void of not knowing what is happening, there is little or no accountability for what is happening.

This means ANYthing could be happening — good, bad, scary, neutral, happy, sad, etc etc.

For example, you could be struggling away at maintaining a healthy diet all week, and someone else can come out, without your awareness, and binge on their hidden stash of chocolate and cookies.  Your efforts at weight loss will be completely undermined, and you might not realize why.

A far more serious example is when someone in your system comes out, without your awareness, and has conversations or interactions with dangerous people of one variety or another.  Or they could be involved in some form of self-abuse or self-harm or suicidal behavior.  These periods of time loss could lead to any number of scary outcomes, of course.

If there was no time loss — meaning, even if you switched from one person to the other, but were aware of what the others were doing —  there could be a chance at negotiating these problem  spots in life.  A compromise or a healthy solution could be arranged.


Here are a few other “thinking spots”:

  • How does time loss affect your life?
  • How do you work with your system to decrease time loss between you?
  • If you were a team, without time loss between any of you, how would that impact your life?
  • Would you want to know what’s happening in your life at all times of day and night?


As always, I’d be glad to hear your thoughts on this.

I wish you the best in your healing journey.




Are you switching in your sleep?


Copyright © 2008-2016 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation